“You don’t mock my mother. You don’t speak of her in anything but the most reverent of tones. I don’t care if you are Death, I will open a can of Cajun whup-ass all over you, boy.” – Nick “Normally, I’d be hanging you the can opener and daring you to go for it. Be glad I owe a debt that precludes me from killing you right now. But don’t push it. While you have a predetermined death, your own free will decisions can override that. Put that in the bank and think about it before you try to make a withdrawal.” – Death”

“Nick froze instantly. "You don't mock my mother. You don't speak of her in anything but the most reverent of tones. I don't care if you are Death, I will open a can of Cajun whup-ass all over you, boy.”

“Fine. Let’s begin with something even you can’t screw up.” – Death“Way to build up my crappy confidence there. You should volunteer for the suicide hotline.” – Nick“What makes you think I don’t?” – Death”

“What do you mean I have a predetermined death?” – Nick“Did I stutter?” – Death “No.” – Nick“Do I look like Webster’s?” – Death “No.” – Nick “Then you should understand what I said, since I didn’t speak in code. Every mortal creature is born with an expiration date. Some immortals, too. Set by the big clockmaker. But excessive stupidity and moronic tendencies can shorten it. Pissing me off is one really good way to cut yours down to three seconds from now.” – Death”

“Calm down. I’m a demon, Nick. Hematite doesn’t like my genetics. It doesn’t mean anything other than I have really bad parentage.”“Then why am I having flashes of you killing me?”“What’d you eat this morning?”Nick didn’t care for that answer. Not one little bit. “I saw it happen. You were choking the life out of me.”Caleb rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah. That is definitely a figment of your overactive, over-Hollywood-stimulated imagination. I assure you. I don’t kill people that way. Takes too long. I’m not into torture. I prefer a quick death so that I can move on to something more satisfying.”Strangely enough, that he believed. Patience wasn’t a virtue Caleb practiced. “You sure?”“Dude, look at me. You think I’d have let the demons pound all over me last night so that you could escape if I had any intention of killing you? Really?”

“Don’t you have any friends you could hand with?” – Nick “I do. But the problem is when I hang out with my friends, it usually gets ugly for the rest of you. Especially when we’re bored. Nothing entertains us more than plagues, famine, war, and bloody massacres.” – Death“You play D&D, too, huh? Who’s your DM?” – Nick “The difference between my group and yours…our toys are real.” – Death”

“You must be Pain in the Nick.” – Dev“Huh?” – Nick“Don’t wet your pets. Just a figure of speech. Your mom’s been talking about you all day, boy. You are her favorite topic.” – Dev“Well, I try hard not to be her favorite hemorrhoid.” – Nick”