“You must be the brother.I hope so, I'm wearing his pants.”

“It's a miracle I was able to get out of the house today. It's a miracle I'm even wearing pants, a double miracle I remembered to wear shoes.”

“She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army.""Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army.""That's SO not the point!”

“When a man wears his pants that tight, they tend to pinch his balls, and that tends to pinch his temper.”

“This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today.”

“I don't always change my clothes just because I'm leaving the house. I wear yoga pants 99 percent of the time, and I pretend that other people don't notice that I'm wearing my pajamas in public.”