“You wanted me to get a job. Well, that’s their job-screening. I kill him, or he kills me. Winner gets the job. (Steele)You’re kidding. (Syd)Absolutely. I’m not the least bit serious. All of this is one big hallucination. And I’m not sitting over here bleeding to death. But hey, since it’s a hallucination, could you please make my arm stop throbbing because right now it hurts like hell. (Steele)”

“Oh, my God, are you okay? (Syd)You ever nick yourself while shaving? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)You know the burn you get that hurts like hell? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)This is nothing like that. It’s a lot worse. (Steele)”

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to sit over here with my throbbing feet and bleed in silence until we get to our destination. (Syn)”

“He’s out there waiting for us. We his the street, and we’re ducks in a barrel. (Steele)Isn’t that fish in a barrel? (Syd)Don’t fuck with my metaphors right now, Syd. Can’t you see that I’m under stress? (Steele)”

“What are you? (a Daimon)Oh please, let me give you the job description. Me, Dark-Hunter. You, Daimon. I hit, you bleed. I kill, you die. (Zarek)”

“Not half as much as I’d miss me if you killed me. (He blinked like a girl and leaned against Ash’s shoulder.) Please don’t hurt me, Ash. Please. I don’t want to die while I’m still a virgin. At least let me get laid before you kill me – which according to my mom I can’t do until I’m married and I can’t do that until I finish college. So you have to wait a good ten years before you snuff me. Deal? (Nick)”

“We’re here with a special offer for you, Mr. Steele. A once-in-a-lifetime type of opportunity. (Joe)Oh, wait, I’ve seen this movie. I do a job for you, and you let me go. So who am I? I can’t be Eddie Murphy, wrong ethnicity. I’m not bald, so I can’t be Vin Diesel. So where does that leave me? (Steele)”