“We take our bearings from the wrong landmark, wish that when young we had studied the stars - name the flowers for ourselves and the deserts after others. When the territory is charted, its eventual aspect may be quite other than what was hoped for. One can only say, it will be a whole - a region from which a few features, not necessarily those that seemed prominent at the start, will stand out in clear colours. Not to direct, but to solace us; not to fix our positions, but to show us how we came.”
Shirley Hazzard’s quote reflects on the complexities of life and the importance of perspective in understanding our journey through it. She employs metaphors of navigation and the natural world to illustrate how our formative experiences shape our understanding and perception of existence.
The opening lines highlight a common human tendency to rely on misguided benchmarks for assessing progress or direction in life. By stating, “We take our bearings from the wrong landmark,” Hazzard critiques the way people often depend on external validations or societal standards, rather than developing their own authentic compass. This can lead to a disconnect between aspirations and reality.
When Hazzard suggests we "wish that when young we had studied the stars," she is advocating for introspection and the pursuit of personal knowledge and values. The "stars" symbolize a deeper understanding of oneself and the universe, implying that true guidance comes from within and not from conforming to the expectations of others.
The mention of “naming the flowers for ourselves and the deserts after others” further emphasizes the idea of personal agency in defining one's life experiences. It conjures a vision of an individual deriving meaning from their own journey rather than accepting predefined narratives about success and failure imposed by society.
Hazzard articulates a certain acceptance of life's unpredictability with, “When the territory is charted, its eventual aspect may be quite other than what was hoped for.” This acknowledgment serves as a reminder that despite our best efforts to plan and direct our lives, outcomes often differ from our expectations. The eventual “whole” she describes encourages a holistic view, recognizing that life is multidimensional and rich with both expected and unexpected elements.
Her conclusion—“Not to direct, but to solace us; not to fix our positions, but to show us how we came”—captures the essence of reflective understanding. Instead of providing rigid answers or solutions, the process of reflecting on our experiences offers comfort and clarity. It enables us to appreciate the journey itself rather than pinpointing a singular destination.
Overall, Hazzard’s quote serves as a poignant reminder that while life can be uncertain and unpredictable, our individual stories and the ways we interpret them hold value. By embracing our unique pathways and the lessons they impart, we come to understand not only where we are but also how we arrived at our current state.
“In the circle where I was raised, I knew of no one knowledgeable in the visual arts, no one who regularly attended musical performances, and only two adults other than my teachers who spoke without embarrassment of poetry and literature — both of these being women. As far as I can recall, I never heard a man refer to a good or a great book. I knew no one who had mastered, or even studied, another language from choice. And our articulate, conscious life proceeded without acknowledgement of the preceding civilisations which had produced it.”
“One would always want to think of oneself as being on the side of love, ready to recognize it and wish it well --but, when confronted with it in others, one so often resented it, questioned its true nature, secretly dismissed the particular instance as folly or promiscuity. Was it merely jealousy, or a reluctance to admit so noble and enviable a sentiment in anyone but oneself?”
“At first, there is something you expect of life. Later, there is what life expects of you. By the time you realize these are the same, it can be too late for expectations. What we are being, not what we are to be. They are the same thing.”
“I said, "Some people do know more than others. That contributes to the impression that someone, somewhere,knows the whole thing." [p. 38]”
“But tears are not, like blood, shed by all involuntarily and according to the same determinants. And I had come to wonder, from the cauterized state of my own emotions then, whether those who have suppressed or diverted the course of strong feeling are sometimes left immune, with nothing more than just such superficial traces of what was once a great affliction. [p. 78]”
“Dark had meant Dora, had meant words and events sordid with self. Struggling to the light from Dora's darkness, Caro had acquired conscience and equilibrium like a profound, laborious education. Exercise of principle would always require more from her than from persons nurtured in it, for she had learned it by application of will. Caro would never do the right thing without knowing it, as some could.”