“My Chicken can do a special trick!"And what is that?"She can lay an egg!"And what's so special about THAT?!"Well, Can YOU lay an egg?”

“You've got to S-M-I-L-ETo be H-A-Double-P-Y”

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

“The worst thing you can do is nothing. (re: teaching children with autism)”

“How can you get giants out of a dwarf, my good chap? Can a thrush lay eagle’s egg? Can a dolphin give birth to a whale?”

“Farid, you are keeping a hawk; don't expect her to lay eggs like a chicken.”

“Besides its content and methods, the cuisine devised by squaws and hillbilly women, as well as slave women, had another thing in common, which was the belief that you made do with whatever you could lay hands on--pigs' entrails, turnip tops, cowpeas, terrapins, catfish--anything that didn't bite you first.”