“How many spanks have you had, Julia?” Damien asked.“Two, Sir.”“What colour are you on?”“Mortification,” she mumbled.”

“I will tell no one what I know of the two of you. But I would ask one small price for my silence. (Damien)And that is? (Rowena)If you still believe in God, then say a prayer for me. He turned a deaf ear to my pleas long ago. (Damien)”

“Mr Cjelli, nice to see you back, sir. Sorry you had a spot of bother, hope that's all behind you now.""Indeed, Bill, it is. You find me thriving. And Mrs Roberts? How is she? Foot still troubling her?""Not since she had it off, thanks for asking, sir. Between you and me, sir, I would've been just as happy to have had her amputated and kept the foot. I had a little spot reserved on the mantelpiece, but there we are, we have to take things as we find them."(...)"...thank you, and my best to what remains of Mrs Roberts.”

“In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)”

“The girl had many virtues: money, a car--a gold-coloured Capri, in which she played the latest funk--a big house and a rich father. When Valentin asked, 'What does your boyfriend do?' she replied, 'But I don't have one, really.”

“Another two-bowl morning?" - Damien Maslin asking Zoey Redbird if her love of cereal was the reason she was almost late for Vamp Soc class”