“If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.”

“Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west."The sun rises in the east, dickhead."Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out.”Oh, please no. Anything except having to listen to her lecture. I push the button that calls the nurse.“Can we help you, Alex?” a voice bellows through the speaker.“I’m bein’ tortured.”

“Did A tell you your eyes remind me of blown glass? I can see your soul through those eyes, Amy. They get darker when you’re trying to be sexy and shine when you smile. And when you think you’re in trouble you blink double the amount that you usually do. And when your sad the corners of your eyes turn down. I miss your eyes. And I don’t want the sad ones to be my last memory of you.”

“I never stopped loving you. Even when I tried desperately to forget you, I couldn't.”

“Doing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.”

“Where's my cell phone?" I ask. "And please put a shirt on." He reaches down and grabs my phone off the floor. "Why?" "The reason I need my cell," I say as I take it from him, "is to call a cab and the reason I want you to put a shirt on is, well, because, urn . . ." "You've never seen a guy with his shirt off?" "Ha, ha. Very funny. Believe me, you don't have anything I haven't seen before." "Wanna bet?" he says, then moves his hands to the button on his jeans and pops it open. Isabel walks in at that exact moment. "Whoa, Alex. Please keep your pants on.”