“The Professor doesn’t have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I’d go by Richard or Rich . . . not Dick. Hell, I’d even settle for being called Chard.”

“If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard.”

“-You think I’ve got a big ego and an attitude problem?-I don’t think you do, Carlos. I know it. Unfortunately, it’s a Fuentes flaw.-I’d call it an asset. It’s what makes us Fuentes brothers irresistible.Carlos and Brittany”

“I won't have sex with you," she blurts out. He words slam into my libido like a bucket of water on a flame full of testosterone. I think my dick just twitched in protest.”

“Brittany and I don't date other people.""Why not?""It's called being boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“I'll tell you what's real. Real is that I was in jail for the past year, rooming with drug dealers and eating crap food your dog wouldn't touch. Real is not being able to wear your own frickin' underwear and showering with twenty-five other dicks every day while guards watch. Real is my next-door neighbor who walks like she's balancing on stilts because her leg is so fucked up from the accident. Brian, your perception of reality is totally off.”

“cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin’ in your house, I’d kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.”