“When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each other.About Alex and Brittany.”

“He’s my brother, my blood. He annoys the hell out of me most of the time, but when it comes right down to it I want to see him graduate from college and have little annoying mini-Alexes and mini-Brittanys running around in the future”

“[about her offer of a Swedish massage]Alex: You're not Swedish. Brittany: Yeah, well, neither are you. So if I do it wrong you'll never know the difference.”

“you think you've never been wrong before?"-alex"sure i have why just last week I bought bobbi brown sandwash petal lip gloss when the pink blossom color would have looked so much better with my complexion. needless to say the purchase was a total disaster"- brittney"ill bet"-alex."havent you ever been wrong before?"-brittany "absolutely. last week, when i robbed that bank over by the walgreens, I told the teller to hand over all the fifties he had in the till. what i really should have asked for was the twenties 'cause there were way more twenties than fifties"- alex"what a disaster"- brittany”

“Listen, I don't want to be an asshole to you,' I say. So much for the Alex Fuentes Show.'I know. It's your image, what Alex Fuentes is all about. It's your brand, your logo... dangerous, deadly, hot and sexy Mexican. I wrote the book on creating an image. I wasn't aiming for the blonde bimbo look, though. More like the perfect, untouchable look.'Woah. Rewind. Brittany called me hot and sexy.... 'You do realize you called me hot.''As if you didn't know.'I didn't know Brittany Ellis considered me hot. 'For the record, I thought you were untouchable. But now that I know you think I'm a hot, sexy Mexican god...''I never said the word "god,"'I put my finger to my lips. 'Shh. Let me enjoy this fantasy for a minute.' I closed my eyes.”

“Dios mio, I think my brother lost his balls somewhere between here and Mexico. Or maybe Brittany has them zipped inside that fancy purse (of hers).”

“Did I ever tell you that Alex loves you so much he got your name tattooed all over his body? Hell, he even got your name branded into the back of his neck.""They say 'LB,' Carlos. The initials for Latino Blood.""No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. He wants everyone to think that, but in reality it means Lover of Brittany. LB, get it?”