“Who knew Lenny was an encyclopedia for useless information?”

“- Just do you know, Lenny this isn't a date.- Then what is it?- It's me falling sorry for you, because you're such a loser.”

“Just FYI," Lenny says, his face still red from the nasty sunburn. "I've got a shitload of condoms in my duffle. Front pocket.""For what?""Listen if you don't know what condoms are for I'm not gonna teach you.""I know what they're for, shithead. I just highly doubt you're getting any ass on this trip.""Watch me," Lenny says. "My boy gets action all the time.""Yeah, I bet your right hand is tired from all that action" I mumble as I walk to the bathroom. "I'm a leftie!" Lenny calls after me.I try not to wince from thinking about it.”

“—Para que lo sepas, Lenny, esta no es una cita —Trish dice. —Entonces, ¿qué es? —Soy yo sintiendo lástima por ti, porque eres un perdedor.”

“I can't sleep. Too many thoughts running through my useless head.”

“Luis is right there.” I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn’t as much of a chick magnet when you get into junior high.”

“Believe me, I know people who have doting Grandmas. Jessica's Grandma Pearl spent four years knitting her a blanket. Four years! And she's got arthritis. I wonder what Grandma Pearl would think if she knew Jessica lost her virginity to Michael Greenberg under the blanket she spent four years knitting with her crooked fingers.”