“He began to understand suddenly what friends were for: they reminded you that things weren't so bad after all. Reminded you never to stop laughing at yourself.”

“Tom became distracted by the sight of his own boobs. He reached down to grab them. Wyatt cleared her throat."What?" Tom said defensively. "They're mine.""You aren't seriously planning to just sit there groping yourself in front of me, are you? That's kind of rude."Tom dropped his hands, a bit sheepish. "What, come on. You've got some new equipment, too. You're not curious?"Wyatt's armor clanked as she shifted awkwardly in her seat. "It's not like I haven't played sims as men before.""Right." Tom grinned. "So you've already done the groping thing.""That's not what I said! ”

“Those are some of the most powerful people in the world, and you swamped them in sewage! If you had real friends, they'd have told you that you're an idiot for even thinking about doing that!"Tom bristled, indignant. "My friends do tell me I'm an idiot. All the time!”

“You’ve downloaded this information,” Cromwell said briskly, “so let’s make sure you understand it. We’ve been examining the evolution of combat, weaponry, and tactics. History has shown one simple fact: people are people. Period. All the technology and progress in the world can’t change the fundamentals of human nature. There will always be war as long as human beings are capable of envy, hatred, and fear.”

“You're a spelling bee champ, aren't you, White Fang? How do you spell, 'If I don't learn to speak to my betters with more respect, I'm going to get my face smashed in'?"Tom laughed, unable to resist. "That one's easy. It's K-A-R-L.”

“And he'd definitely never expected to ever have to tell someone, "All right, no killing and eating me, okay? I'm ready to go.”

“He likes her.""Yuri, no!" Vik said. Yuri turned redder, confirming it. "Yuri, come on, man," Tom cried. Yuri gave a helpless shrug. "Divisions cannot divide human hearts." "Oh God," Vik cried, clapping hands over his ears. "He's even spouting cheesy lines now. Make him stop, Tom!" "I can't!" Tom told him. "My ears... They're bleeding. Bleeding!" "It's a brain hemorrhage! He's murdered us!" Vik said. "Murderer!" Tom cried, fake collapsing onto the ground.Yuri shook his head. "This is not very mature.”