“Men always say I LOVE YOU as a QUESTION”

“I will never abandon you. I love you too much.”

“Do you trust me?The question is usually asked before an admission that such trust is misplaced.”

“I step back further, until I feel cold tiles against my back. It is then I get the glimmer that I associate with memory. As my mind tries to settle on it, it flutters away, like ashes caught in a breeze, and I realize that in my life there is a then, a before, though before what I cannot say, and there is a now, and there is nothing between the two but a long, silent emptiness that has led me here, to me and him, in this house.”

“I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd fought for you. I was weak and stupid.”

“I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me.”

“Progress? You call this progress?” I was almost shouting now, anger spilled out of me as if I could no longer contain it. “If that’s what it is, then I don’t know if I want it.” The tears were flooding now, uncontrollable. “I don’t want it!” I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless.”