“I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it.”

“I don't care if I'm small! I'll kick you.”

“I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain.”

“I feel like today should be a perfect Meatball day... Let's just get wastey-pants!”

“so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.”

“Shut up. For the rest of this conversation, you don't say anything. When I tell you what you did wrong, you don't say you're sorry, because I already know you're sorry. And when you drive outta here alive, you don't thank me for being alive. And you don't even say goodbye to me.”

“I'll stop eating steak when you stop killing spiders." Absurdity: comparing cows to spiders. Arachnids are pure evil. They're like a cigarette manufacturer or a terrorist. They're organized religion on eight legs.”