“When I'm not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg.”

“I am not a nurse escorting six lunatics to the ice cream parlor.”

“On second thought, maybe “Penis on a Stick Ice Cream Parlor” is not such a good name for a business—even an ice cream shop—but especially not a day care center catering towards the albino dwarf community.”

“Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.”

“We were like the Beatles, Dad.''I know you think that, sweetie''Seriously. Mom is John, you're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.''Ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the future...everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting there with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Ice Cream, resentful of the past, fearful of the future.”

“I'm ninety-five years old. I can have ice cream ten times a day if I want.”