“You know what, I'm going to say this and I mean it, if all else fails and I've got to shake, rattle 'n' roll and get on the woo-wop, this is going to be my heeyah zone.”

“Most of all, I want you to know without a doubt that I've got your back. And your front. And your sides. I've got all of you and I'm not letting go.”

“That's a big love letter," she says, squinting. I know what I'm going to say and for a moment I wish there was a film crew documenting my day-to-day life: "I've got a big heart," I say.”

“He studied with the guru of rock n’ roll, Baba Oom Mow Mow, who taught his own version of the Golden Rule: "Do wop unto others as you would have them do wop unto you.”

“I've got a huge, terrible problem."Oh no! Not that horrible toenail fungus that takes six months to cure?"No, no, no. Much worse. This is shocking news. Are you sure I should tell you while you're driving?"I've got my headset on. Both hands on the wheel. Windows rolled up. Go for it."Okay, here goes...Principal Abernethy called me this morning to let me know I'm in the running for valedictorian."There is silence.A rather loudish snort.And guffaws.Congratulations," she finally says, laughing. "What ever are you going to do?"Fail ever assignment from today onward."You won't be able to."Watch me.”

“You're not going to turn into a wanker, are you?" says Tone, opening a can of larger."What do you mean?""He means you're not going to get all studenty on us," says Spencer."Well, I am a student. I mean, I will be, so,...""No, but I mean you're not gong to get all twatty and up-your-own-arse and come home at Christmas in a gown, talking Latin and saying "one does" and "one thinks" and all that...""Yeah, Tone, that's EXACTLY what I'm going to do.”