“I mean . . . take the Lord of the Rings movies—they’ve got loads of messages. Like “Don’t lose your ring.”

“Me too." I agree fervently. "Every film should definitely have a message."Which is true. I mean... take the Lord of the Rings movies- they've got loads of messages. Like "Don't lose your ring.”

“Trust Jess to get engaged all discreetly and not say a word. I'd have run straight in, saying, "Guess what? Look at my pebble ring!”

“Obviously this is engagement ring city. Couples are wandering along and girls are pointing through the windows and the men are smiling but all look slightly sick whenever their girlfriends turn away.”

“You looked like you wanted to jump his bones right there!""Jump his bones?" Sadie frowns. "What do you mean?"..."It's like a pajama party. Except you take off your pajamas.""Oh that." Her face clicks with recognition. You call it 'jumping his bones'?""Sometimes." I shrug."What an odd phrase. We used to call it sex.""Oh." I say, discomfited. "Well we do too-""Or barney-mugging," she adds.”

“A mother in J Brand skinny jeans with an impeccably dressed daughter walks past, giving me the Mummy Once-over, and I flinch. Since I had Minnie, I’ve learned that the Mummy Once-over is even more savage than the Manhattan Once-over. In the Mummy Once-over, they don’t just assess and price your clothes to the nearest penny in one sweeping glance. Oh no. They also take in your child’s clothes, pram brand, nappy bag, snack choice and whether your child is ­ smiling, snotty or screaming. Which I know is a lot to take in, in a one-second glance, but believe me, mothers are multi-taskers.”

“You know, this always happens. Whenever I go away, I always think I'll come back to mountains of exciting posts, with parcels and telegrams and letters full of scintillating news - and I'm always disappointed. In fact, I really think someone should set up a company called holidaypost.com which you would pay to write you loads of exciting letters, just so you had something to look forward to when you got home.”