“It really is the year 2007. Which means I must be...Oh my God. I'm twenty-eight.I'm old.”

“Oh God, I'm miss­ing the gene which makes you grow up and buy a flat in Streatham and start visiting Homebase every weekend. Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.”

“I thought marriage was for ever. I really did. I thought Luke and I would grow old and grey together. Or at least, old. (I'm not intending to go grey, ever...)”

“I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and think Crikey Moses! Thank God that didn't really happen!”

“Oh, my God, you smiled! Mr. American Frown actually smiled!""Must have been a mistake. I'll speak to someone about it. Won't happen again.""Well, good. Because you could do your face and injury, just smiling like that.”

“He leans forward and his mouth brushes brieflyagainst mine, and I feel... nothing.I was hoping our first kiss would trigger all sorts of memories or sensations, maybe a sudden image of Paris or our wedding, or our first snog. But as he draws away I feel totally, one hundred percent blank.I can see the anticipation in Eric's face and quickly search for something encouraging to say."That was lovely! Very..." I trail off, unable to think of a single word other than quick, which I'm not sure hits the right note. "It didn't bring back any memories?" Eric is studying my face."Well...no," I say apologetically. "But, I mean, that doesn't mean it wasn't really... I mean it was... I feel quite turned on!" The words come out before I can stop them.What the hell did I say that for? I don't feel turned on."Really?" Eric lights up and he puts his briefcase down.Oh no. No no no. Nooo.”

“A cold dismay creeps over me. Oh okay, maybe I did once kind of pretend I had a stalker. Which I shouldn't have done. But I mean, just because you invent one tiny stalker - that doesn't make you a complete nut case, does it?”