“It’s the way he had a cup of tea waiting for me when I woke up. It’s the way he turned on his laptop especially for me to look up all my Internet horoscopes and helped me choose the best one. He knows all the crappy, embarrassing bits about me that I normally try to hide from any man for as long as possible… and he loves me anyway.”

“Luke!...We have to be able to do cool dancing so we don't embarrass our child!""I'm a very cool dancer," replies Luke. "Very cool indeed,""No you're not!""I had dance lessons in my teens, you know," he retorts. "I can waltz like Fred Astire.""Waltz?" I echo derisively. "That's not cool! We need to know all the street moves. Watch me."I do a couple funky head-wriggle body-pop maneuvers, like they do on rap videos. When I look up, Luke is gaping at me."Sweetheart," he says. "What are you doing?""It's hip-hop!" I say. "It's street!""Becky! Love!" Mum has pushed her way through her dancing guests to reach me. "What's wrong? Has labour started?"Honestly. My family has no idea about contemporary urban steet dance trends.”

“You know what Hans told me last week?" she says as I open the door of my fitting room. "He told me to write down a list of everything I wanted to say about that women-and then tear it up. He said I'd feel a sense of freedom.""Oh right," I say interestedly. "So what happened?" "I wrote it all down," says Laurel. "And then I mailed it to her!”

“I feel a bit apprehensive as I see that he's looking directly at me. But I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? I mean, it's not like stalking is against the law.Oh. Well, OK, maybe stalking is against the law. But I've only been doing it for five minutes. Surely that doesn't count. And anyway, how does he know I'm stalking anyone? I might just be sitting here for my pleasure.”

“You’re perfect,’ he says almost fiercely. ‘You don’t need to change one hair. One freckle. One little toe.And if it’s me that’s made you feel you should do this … then there’s something wrong with me.”

“It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?Men are crap.”

“Thinking back, perhaps it took me longer than it should have to guess that he wasn't playing ball, so to speak. In fact, he actually had to punch me in the face get me off him - although he was very apologetic about it afterward.”