“Something tells me organizing a protest against your husband’s client has got to be even worse than selling his Tiffany clocks.”

“This is me, remember?" retorts Suze. "I know what you're like! You used to throw all your bank statements into the trash and hope a complete stranger would pay off your bills!" This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.”

“It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?Men are crap.”

“We both gaze down at my swollen tummy for a while. I still can't quite get my head round the fact that there's a baby inside my body. Which has got to come out... somehow.OK, let's not go there. There's still time for them to invent something.”

“Me too." I agree fervently. "Every film should definitely have a message."Which is true. I mean... take the Lord of the Rings movies- they've got loads of messages. Like "Don't lose your ring.”

“A mother in J Brand skinny jeans with an impeccably dressed daughter walks past, giving me the Mummy Once-over, and I flinch. Since I had Minnie, I’ve learned that the Mummy Once-over is even more savage than the Manhattan Once-over. In the Mummy Once-over, they don’t just assess and price your clothes to the nearest penny in one sweeping glance. Oh no. They also take in your child’s clothes, pram brand, nappy bag, snack choice and whether your child is ­ smiling, snotty or screaming. Which I know is a lot to take in, in a one-second glance, but believe me, mothers are multi-taskers.”

“Now, do you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?”