“The first story is all about the president washing his piano. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what presidente and lavoro pieno must mean”

“I’m sure I am wrong about many things, although I’m not sure exactly which things I’m wrong about. I’m even sure I’m wrong about what I think I’m right about in at least some cases.”

“I try to tell myself he’s probably a teddy bear on the inside. But I’m pretty sure that’s not true.”

“So if my ability to meditate was what was going to save the world, or at least save Portland, then I was pretty sure we should all think about moving to Seattle.”

“I’ve got this perception of Beethoven where he’s just, like, really pissed all the time. Yeah, ol’ Ludwig, he had a lot to pound on the piano bitterly about. I’m Germannnn! I’m deaffff! I’m bliiiind! My name is Ludwigggg! Was he blind? I’m pretty sure. Or, wait, maybe that was Helen Keller. Was he even German? Was she German? Is Ludwig a name? I’m starting to worry I’m just making shit up.”

“I’m…pretty sure I’m in love with Travis,” I said, bracing for his reaction.”