“Why can't parents dance? Is it some universal law of physics or something?”

“I need good coffee!" I say in horror. "It's my only luxury!"I can't live with my parents and drink bad coffee. It's not humanly possible.Becky talking about cutting back with her parents.”

“Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.”

“I can't get over this. Dad isn't Sam's dad? Dad is a friend? How was I supposed to know that? People shouldn't be allowed to sign themselves as Dad unless they are your dad. It should be the law.”

“I can't help giving her the Mummy Once-Over myself, and she's one of those mothers who wears Crocs over nubbly homemade socks. (Why would you do that? Why?)”

“I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and think Crikey Moses! Thank God that didn't really happen!”

“Bex...why did you buy an inflatable canoe?''It's for you to lie on. Or something.''And a watering can?''I couldn't find a plant spray.'Breathlessly I start shoving bags into the taxi.'But why do I need a plant spray?''Look,it wasn't my idea, OK?' I say defensively.”