“Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.”

“Every instinct in me wants to text someone OMG, I've lost my phone! but how can I do that without a bloody phone?”

“I've never felt so bereft and panicky. What do I do without my phone? How do I function? My hand keeps automatically reaching for my phone in its usual place in my pocket. Every instinct in me wants to text someone, 'OMG, I've lost my phone!' but how can do that without a bloody phone?”

“Bex...why did you buy an inflatable canoe?''It's for you to lie on. Or something.''And a watering can?''I couldn't find a plant spray.'Breathlessly I start shoving bags into the taxi.'But why do I need a plant spray?''Look,it wasn't my idea, OK?' I say defensively.”

“Why can't parents dance? Is it some universal law of physics or something?”

“Jeez Louise. I know why rich people are so thin: it's from trekking around their humongous houses the whole time.”

“It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?Men are crap.”