“Why do people say to grow a pair of balls? Balls are weak and sensitive. They should say grow a vagina, those things can take a pounding.”

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”

“I’m growing an Abe Lincoln beard. On my ball sack.”

“He’s coming over,” Lindsay says. “What do you want me to do? Kick him in the balls? I’ve been dying to kick him in the balls.”

“I can´t help it. You´re just so sexy in those baggy-ass pants. I got to get me a pair, ´cause nothing says hotness like wearing what looks like two Heftys stitched together at your racket and balls.´”

“If I could grow wings, I could fly. Only people can't grow wings," he say's. "Real or not real?""Real," I say. "But people don't need wings to survive.""Mockingjays do.”