“I’m a nice person. I give money to starving babies and properly tip my hairdresser. Why am I the one everyone tries to kill?”

“Why am I fighting to live,If I am just living to fight Why am I trying to see. When there aint nothing in sightWhy am I trying to give, When no one gives me a try Why am I dying to live,If I am just living to die?”

“Do not ridicule my effort. Everybody likes a comedian’s company. That’s why they give them tips after watching theshow, not their hard earned money for a mutual fund investment. Give him tips, not your heart. I guess youunderstand the difference.”

“My love is like a crumbly cookie. It’s very hard to give all of it to just one person. Try as I might to give it all to just one woman, crumbs break off here and there in meaningless crushes and kisses and—but what am I saying? Baby, you know you’re the only one I’ve given my cookie to. Can I get you a tall glass of milk?”

“My mind," he said, "rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.”

“A man doesn't say I will starve myself to death to keep from starving, or that he'd spend all of his money to save money. Why should he be willing to die for the privilege of living?”