“Was there someone absent from the table of creation?”
“From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.”
“Having beef with someone is unnecessary and avoidable. Whatever the issue, if not positive, it is an opportunity to cut the excess fat from an unhealthy dietary network. Simply excuse yourself from the table of negativity and lean forward in peace.”
“The universe is not going to see someone like you again in the entire history of creation.”
“The Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent one from another”