“All the beautiful waitresses existed like eternal responsibilities.”

“And in this role (the Stage Manager) I could speak from my heart, you know!....provided I can memorize the lines.”

“I knew I couldn't live in America and I wasn't ready to move to Europe so I moved to an island off the coast of America - New York City .”

“You might discuss important philosophical topics, such as the nature of existence- or what a bunch of lying toe rags politicians are.”

“The second she touched it, the blue screen of death appeared, along with that dissonant gank noise Windows makes when it decides the stress of existence has become too much and commits electronic suicide.”

“He’s wearing a totally normal T-shirt from the mall or whatever, but it hangs on him like the shirt has fulfilled its sole mission in life.”

“Normally it makes me really happy to see, not just that they’re in love but that love like that is possible. Right now, though, I just kind of want to throw water on them.”