“Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.”

“(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".”

“The width of neck and shoulder suggested a rugby player, the broken nose confirmed it. Which shows just how wrong you can be as he never played the game in his life.”

“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”

“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

“Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. ”