“Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. ”

“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”

“The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.”

“My sister Laura's bigger than meAnd lifts me up quite easily.I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;She must have something heavy inside.”

“(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".”

“Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon”