“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

“Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. ”

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”

“My sister Laura's bigger than meAnd lifts me up quite easily.I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;She must have something heavy inside.”

“(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".”

“Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon”

“General: Where are you from?Spike: London.General: Which part?Spike: ... Well, all of me.”