“I can see the headline now: Archangel Busts Were Whisperer.”

“What I knew for sure was that he had a quick temper, a cocky attitude, and a southern accent... Apparently he also has a pet cougar.”

“A team is where a boy can prove his courage on his own. A gang is where a coward goes to hide.”

“If I knew I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.”

“If I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!”

“After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases.”

“Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said "sure, every time".”