“Don't conclude before you understand. After you understand, don't judge”

“Peter, when you feel like this, i just want you to include me. It's fine that you come here, just tell me. I wanna understand what you're going through and I need you to understand what i'm going through.”

“Peanut: Too much starbucks coffee, coffee, coffee!Jeff: You didn't have coffee before the show!Peanut: I admit it was crack.Jeff: You didn't do crackPeanut: Then you did! It feels like one of us did!Peanut: Don't you do crack?Jeff: No! I'VE NEVER DONE CRACK!Peanut: Alright. I admit Jeff does not abuse drugs. He's an alcoholic.”

“Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar... Jeff: No no no no no Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard.”

“Rich, you don't need to fight it. I'm not like, trying to frame you. I am letting you know that it is OK for you to act on this fantasy, because I am gross and so are you.”

“Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'No no no no no' JeffYou don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff”

“I just don't want to be around people who don't hate everything in their life right now.”