“I told a perspective employer don't spend 50 Bucks looking up my back ground info on the net. Give me the 50 Bucks and I'll tell you myself.”
“50 bucks sounds fair to me. Especially since I’m not doing anything to earn it.”
“Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.” This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.”
“Buck up, suck it up, don't fuck it up”
“If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway.”
“The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.”