“I was out of salt so I threw pepper over my left shoulder for luck and the poor guy behind me almost sneezed himself to death.”

“I just tripped over a pair of shoes and almost fell down and broke my neck and no I wasn't wearing them.”

“If you like me 'Fine' if you hate me 'Fine' I'll write you out of my life. It's as simple as Over,Done Forgotten Gone”

“If I could out run the Angel of Death I'd probably die from lack of breath!”

“I'm fighting a long term disease it's called Death and I will have it until I take my last breath”

“I hope to die with dignity and not be on my death bed pondering the afterlife wearing a diaper named Depends.”

“It's two A.M. "To sleep or to write that is the question?" Whether it tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of my piss poor punctuation or take arms against a sea of keys with so many new possibilities.”