“If you want to find missing children put their photo's on Soda Cans, beer cans and cigarette packs and you'll increase the odds by millions some people are lactose in tolerate.”

“Why do our politicians put warnings on cigarette packs and not on their own foreheads?”

“You can never know the odds. If you don't play, you'll never win”

“Finding hate-objects may be every bit as essential as finding love-objects, but if one can tolerate some of one's badness -- meaning recognize it as yours -- then one can take some fear out of the world.”

“You can find God, make as much money as God or be as good-looking as God, and you'll still need to figure out a way to pack the emotional baggage you were handed when you were a kid.”

“To give one can of beer to a thousand people is not nearly as much fun as to give 1,000 cans of beer to one guy. You give a thousand people a can of beer and each of them will drink it, smack his lips and go back to watching the game. You give 1,000 cans to one guy, and there is always the outside possibility that 50,000 people will talk about it.”