“I'm a Black Sheep hopelessly lost in a field of delicious Blue Grass.”

“You know if the U.S. Government wanted to boost the economy there's a simple solution make Black Friday the refund date for your state and federal taxes”

“My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.”

“It's amazing that people actually get paid for what I'm doing on here for free.”

“When I get to Heaven I just know I'm going to forget my toothbrush.”

“I'm on a diet I plan to lose Guilt, Fear, Sin, and Doubt then I'll be confident enough to walk about.”

“It's not where I'm going that worries me it's where I've been that always bites me in the ass.”