“Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny”

“For Breakfast I like my coffee warm and cozy and my eggs funny side up.”

“Because of my experience in Desert Storm I have permanent Insomnia but don't get me wrong I love sleep I can never get enough of it.”

“When people tell me to go fly a kite I tell them to go dig a ditch. They say "why dig a ditch"? I say because I want to be closer to Heaven than you.”

“My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny.”

“The reason I don't Kill Myselfis because I know I can.”

“A friend once said his father use to say "I don't want to be a millionaire I just want to live like one" if we could all be so lucky.”