“Having a syndicated comic strip is a great platform for ripping on expressions you hate.”

“Man, I put myself in a lot of comic strips. Something's wrong with my sense of self.”

“The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.”

“Scott Adams: From him, I learned how to write a three-panel comic. Probably the best pure writer on the comics page.”

“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

“One funny image can sometimes save an otherwise mediocre strip. At least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite as crappy when I've just wasted four hours drawing and coloring a Sunday strip.”

“Gary Larson: The funniest cartoonist I’ve ever seen. His two-volume set (The Complete Far Side) should be the textbook in any course taught on how to be funny on the comics page.”