“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.”

“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

“Scott Adams: From him, I learned how to write a three-panel comic. Probably the best pure writer on the comics page.”

“One funny image can sometimes save an otherwise mediocre strip. At least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite as crappy when I've just wasted four hours drawing and coloring a Sunday strip.”

“Man, I put myself in a lot of comic strips. Something's wrong with my sense of self.”

“Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)”

“I recently forced myself to read a book on quantum physics, just to try and learn something new. I was confused by the middle of the first sentence and it all went downhill from there. The only thing I can remember learning is that a parallel universe can theoretically be contained on the head of a needle. I don't really know what that means, but I am now more careful handling needles.”