“One funny image can sometimes save an otherwise mediocre strip. At least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite as crappy when I've just wasted four hours drawing and coloring a Sunday strip.”

“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

“Man, I put myself in a lot of comic strips. Something's wrong with my sense of self.”

“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.”

“When I was at the University of California at Berkeley, I went to some classes that must have had more than four hundred students in them. I almost always sat in the far back of the auditorium so I could read the newspaper. I remember that I stayed late one day to ask the professor a question, and when I got up to him, all I could think to myself was, 'So this is what the professor looks like.”

“Having a syndicated comic strip is a great platform for ripping on expressions you hate.”

“I recently forced myself to read a book on quantum physics, just to try and learn something new. I was confused by the middle of the first sentence and it all went downhill from there. The only thing I can remember learning is that a parallel universe can theoretically be contained on the head of a needle. I don't really know what that means, but I am now more careful handling needles.”