“When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.”

“One funny image can sometimes save an otherwise mediocre strip. At least that's what I tell myself so I don't feel quite as crappy when I've just wasted four hours drawing and coloring a Sunday strip.”

“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.”

“On the list of things I cannot draw, wedding dresses are right there next to cars.”

“The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.”

“Having a syndicated comic strip is a great platform for ripping on expressions you hate.”

“Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)”