“When confronted with a birthday in a week I will remember that a book can be a really good present, too.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”

“Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit.”

“Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?”

“Now you'll get to see how I can really run a building, darlin. Not even a cracked knee to hold me back, yeah? What a nice birthday present.”

“It only takes one minute to find a really good book, but it can give you a lifetime of memories when you read a really good book that leaves you with lasting impression.”