“But Matt's the only guy I've ever gone out with,and he barely counts.I once told him I'd dated this guy named Stuart Thistleback at summer camp. Stuart Thistleback had auburn hair and played the stand-up bass, and we were totally in love,but he lived in Chattanooga and we didn't have our driver's licenses yet.Matt knew I made it up,but he was too nice to say so.”

“I loved the terrier quality Stuart had. He thought he was such a tough guy.”

“So if you were dating the UPS guy, he could buy you whatever the hell he wanted. But I cant."well...yes, but I'd never date the UPS guy. Those brown shorts are just not a turn-on for me.”

“Irene gasped. "Have you taken leave of your senses, Stuart?" she hissed. "Have you?"Stuart closed his eyes."No," he said. "Au contraire." It was strong language for the Edinburgh New Town, but he had to say it."Don't au contraire me," said Irene.But it was too late. He had.”

“When we sleep together, he holds me like he loves me. I've noticed this: when it's the first date, and you fuck, the guy holds you much better than he does the next few times. The first date, you're sort of a stand-in for whomever he loved last, before he fully realizes you're not her, so you get all this nice residue emotion.”

“I remember once walking out hand in hand with a boy I knew, and it was summer, and suddenly before us was a field of gold. Gold as far as you could see. We knew we'd be rich forever. We filled our pockets and our hair. We were rolled in gold. We ran through the field laughing and our legs and feet were coated in yellow dust, so that we were like golden statues or golden gods. He kissed my feet, the boy I was with, and when he smiled, he had a gold tooth.It was only a field of buttercups, but we were young.”