“How'd you get this number?""Well, you see, there's this book. It has white pages. And it has all these phone numbers listed inside it. It's also online.”

“You have about as much chance of contacting the Universal Mind with a spell from a book as you do of reaching the White House by dialing random numbers into a phone.”

“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”

“How to Leave the Planet1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it’s very important that you get away as soon as possible.2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House—(202) 456-1414—to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.3. If you don’t have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don’t have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it’s vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.”

“I have a list of people to kill. All but number 33 are my clones. Who’s number 33? Why you are, of course.”

“Life is like a book son. And every book has an end. No matter how much you like that book you will get to the last page and it will end. No book is complete without its end. And once you get there, only when you read the last words, will you see how good the book is.”