“... had to pee like a racehorse at an Iced Tea convention.”

“If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.”

“I like the fact of John McCain's head being severed. Like that it will fit so much more nicely up George Bush's butt!”

“It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.”

“(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock”

“If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!”

“(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.”