“My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.”

“Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.”

“I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.”

“I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.”

“Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.”

“You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?”

“I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.”