“So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.”

“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!”

“The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.”

“Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!”

“I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.”

“Dreams can change, if we all stuck with our first dreams there would be a lot of cowboys and princesses running around.”

“What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?”