“They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space.”

“Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!”

“Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost.Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.”

“NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.”

“You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?”

“Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.”

“...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.”