“Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.”

“Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.”

“I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.”

“I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.”

“Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.”

“Turn up your hearing aid 'Grandpa', because I'm only going to say this once!”

“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!”