“The man had arrived at that stage of drunkenness where affection is felt for the universe.”

“That which is in locomotion must arrive at the half-way stage before it arrives at the goal.”

“The stage of mental comfort to which they had arrived at this hour was one wherein their souls expanded beyond their skins, and spread their personalities warmly through the room.”

“Fear had an anatomy. A curious thought. It had genitals, a bladder and bowls. That was where you felt fear. Not in your head. It was between your legs. It affected your excretion. It emptied you. It turned your bowls to water. It is disgusting.”

“After four hundred and ninety-three years of teleporting from one place to another, Angus Mackay still felt an urge to peek under his kilt to ensure everything had arrived in fine working condition. There were some areas where a man, vampire or not, would hate to find himself shortchanged.”

“Stella explained that when he had arrived, because of his English accent, she had assumed that he was me, and had asked where his fridge was. She didn't tell me what his reply was, and we can only hazard a guess, but I was impressed that he had been prepared to stay the night. It is surely a brave man who goes ahead and checks into an establishment where the first question is 'Where's your fridge?'. Especially if, as he had done, you had arrived by motorcycle.”