“I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson.”

“Oh no he does not! He does NOT read James Freaking Patterson. Our salvation - our provider…we must be out of our minds. I happen to find Patterson thought provoking and suspenseful. You what? Did you just say you find James Patterson thought provoking and suspenseful? Jesus Christ open your eyes! Are you so desperate to believe that you're defending James Patterson?!”

“Whenever people in that part of the world asked Patterson about the wonders of America, the possibilities and the hope of America, Patterson would say that it was a good and fine place but all the Americans were running it into the ground and that it would be a far better place if it had no Americans.”

“In our time, Universalism as such, like a spinster lady late in life, took a husband, and although they agreed to hyphenate their married name, by now the offspring of that union often simply call themselves by the husband's name, and in time may not recognize her name at all.”

“I believe in the goodness of people, sir, and the power of young folks like us to overcome what grown-ups like you might not be able to.―Sylvia Patterson”

“Grandpa Patterson used to say: Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”